Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
