Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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