I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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