I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
