My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
