there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
