hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
