Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
