Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
