I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
