HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
