ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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