drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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