That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
