I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
