I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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