Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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