i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
