No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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