i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
