She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
