jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
