Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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