So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
