i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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