Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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