Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sobbing to NWA
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
