Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
