dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
