i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
