in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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