dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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