I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love having hate sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize