You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's like iHOP with fire
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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