i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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