Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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