The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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