and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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