What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sponge bath it is.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
