why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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