Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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