White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
