Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize