omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
