I think my vagina is haunted
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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