You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Houston, we have a blender
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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