dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
