The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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