I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
