Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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