Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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