i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
