I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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