I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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