By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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