Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
