So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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