I am spending my child support on dildos
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
