A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
