man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
