Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
